I'm actually making a post. Wow! Good on me. I'm imagining I'm reading this in a northern English accent, so feel free to do so, too.
So, second post. It's going to be a deep one. Oooooh.
Anxiety.
No one should have to go through this foul thing. I know because I'm going through it. But do I want it to take over my life? I say, NAAAAAAAY. Die, Anxiety! And take all your symptoms and after-effects with you! Yes, I'm talking to you, Sweaty Hands and Fast Heartbeat. Can't forget you, either, Thing That Stops Me From Talking to Others. Arrrr.
So here I am, writing about this piece of (forgive me) s**t. Yes, to get me through it, and maybe also to be a beacon for others with this awfulness and to let them know that they are not alone (mostly it's to reassure me, but let's forget that).
I've searched on Google countless times "ways to get rid of anxiety" and it always comes up with the same things.
- Branch out
- Force yourself to talk more
- Make more friends
- Get over it
- See a doctor
Well, guess what, people-of-the-Internet-who-write-these-things-up, YOU SUCK (no offence). If you have anxiety, trust me, you will not be able to do these things easily, and it's not for any reason other than that you have anxiety. Well, guess what, people-who-are-reading-this-now, there IS a way to get over anxiety.
Now, to clear things up, I can only talk about how to deal with social anxiety, so I apologise to anyone with any other type of anxiety. Here we go.
1. Try your hardest to made that one AWESOME friend who is super cool and has similar likings to you.
Everything will go uphill from there. Want know how I did that? Well, tough luck if you don't. I was standing in front of the girl's toilets. Another girl was standing there and I said "I swear you look familiar. Do I know you?" And you know what? I ONLY SAID THAT TO MAKE A FRIEND. Because she didn't look familiar at all, and it had been 2 weeks since college started and I didn't have a single friend, so yes, I was desperate.
I don't regret it at all. She likes manga and anime, just like me, and she's smart and funny and amazing. But the best part was that she can actually talk to people! AKA she doesn't have anxiety. Score!
2. Use that friend.
If they have a friend circle, great! Just try your best and push and shove your way into the other people's hearts (they'll probably automatically end up liking you if you can't so it's alright)! Even if they don't have a friend circle, it's still fine! You know why? Because you have that one awesome friend and you will forever (I hope).
3. Counselling.
The one we've all been dreading. Whenever I'm told that I need to get a counsellor, I tell that person to f**k off, but for once (I'm afraid to admit), I am wrong (*cries*). Counsellors are AWESOME. You can literally just keep talking away for hours and they will give absolutely no s**ts because it's their job. They won't judge you AND they give you super cool advice that's mostly follow-able.
My "one-off" counsellor told me that I needed to challenge myself. I cried when she was asking me why I had social anxiety, because I didn't know, but it felt so good to cry because it was like I didn't have this huge secret to myself any more. She told me to try and sit next to someone new everyday in class and talk to that person, get to know them little-by-little.
I loved that counsellor because she was so right. I sat next to someone different as often as I felt comfortable with, and now I don't just have that one awesome friend, but loads of awesome friends (well, at least a few), and it's the best thing in the world. To know that you're not alone, that you're not the only one who likes weird and random things and that you can actually talk. It's amazing.
4. Get it all out.
Blogs. They sound so cheesy and stupid but once you get into it, you realise it's sort of like a friend circle (that sounded better in my head). You never know who's going to read what you've written, but in the end, it doesn't matter because they don't know you. And they're never going to know you as much as you know yourself, no matter how much of your life you type out. It's like a support group. You just don't have that weird organiser guy telling you to say your name and problem and then making everyone say "it'll be alright" at the end (we all know it's creepy, okay?). I'm sometimes sceptical about people I know "in real life (whatever that is)" reading what I write, but in the end I couldn't care less because it's their choice if they want to get to know to real me or not, and if they do, you get to make a new friend! Awesome, right?
And that's basically all you need. Simple, right? You're probably thinking "...nope." and I know what you mean. Think of it like a game. If you're not determined to win, you're not going to. I know you are determined to win, because you've searched up ways to deal with anxiety and you've ended up here, so you've completed the first level. Only 29 (or however many) left to go. Instead of picking up coins along the way, you're going to pick up some awesome friends, have a roller coaster of emotions and feel like giving up along the way, but the key thing is, giving up is like losing a life, and instead of having 3 (or 100), you only have one. You don't want to lose. You want to win, I want you to win, and all those friends you have, and those friends you will have, want you to win.
You can do it. I believe in you.
Over and out, Nishat.
Over and out, Nishat.
